Sunday, February 24, 2008

Teenage girls make you fat

I gave LaRita access to the Internet again. She lost the privilege before, and I thought we could try again. I was wrong. I happened to find that she created a secret email account. I was angry about the abuse of trust. This happened when we were iced in on Friday. So all Friday I found myself grazing. I was in the kitchen all day. I even baked muffins. Healthy muffins, but I am so not a baker. I didn't even realize I was feeding my frustrations. I was aggravated with LaRita so I ate. Now, will this realization help? I sure hope so. What do you do with frustration, anger, sadness? I don't drink, or smoke, and even though I say I ate all day it isn't anything like before surgery. There isn't too much satisfaction in a string cheese. I want to binge. The sad thing is I know of a woman that has the opposite problem. She restricts when she is upset. That is sad, because I wish I had that problem. I wish being upset made me want to starve. I know that thinking is flawed. It is like a crack addict wishing he were a heroin addict. They are both detrimental to your health. What do healthy people do when they are upset? Are there normal people? Somehow I doubt it.

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