I know I need to go

Why can't I make myself get to the gym. I know I have to do it. The truth is if I spent half as much time in the gym as I do beating myself up over not going, I would be buff by now. I had every intention on going today, but if Chris doesn't get home soon I won't be able to. I have plans later tonight so I won't be able to go later. I hate to go. I feel like everyone is looking at the fat girl and judging me. In my head I know that is not true, but in my heart it is there. I am embarrassed to be there. Also, I still am more fatigued than I should be. Hopefully, the doctor will have some answers for that on Wednesday. If I had the energy, I think I could overcome the humilation factor.